Bacon makes everything better

Jul. 29, 2014 @ 04:49 PM

To say I like bacon is a lot like saying, “The sky is blue. Water is wet. Fire is hot.” Of course I like bacon. Who doesn’t like bacon?

Pipe down, voice in the back. The majority of us love it.

I was inspired recently by the realization that I hadn’t given my doctor enough to be angry about lately. If you try these recipes, you’ll likely make your doctor angry, too. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I decided to wrap slices of bacon and chicken breast together pinwheel-style, coat them in flour and fry them. Just in case my doctor wasn’t already clasping his chest reflexively just for me thinking it, I decided to top some of them with Gouda.

Then, when I was done, I made gravy out of the scraps in the pan. Finally, I topped off my bacon adventure with some spicy chocolate-covered bacon.

Yes, it was a dangerous meal. But, hey, the things I do for you fine readers.

A few tips

When buying the chicken breasts, look to see if the meat counter has already done the slicing for you. The store I had sold packs of pre-sliced chicken for fajitas. I actually recommend you get cheap, store-brand bacon. If you get thick-cut, high-quality bacon, the roll’s going to come out too fat. You’re looking for compactness. Whenever frying something, sprinkle it with salt as soon as you take it from the frying pan. It will enhance the flavor. 

Bacon Chicken Medallions

1 pound chicken breasts, sliced into strips

1 pound bacon

½ cup flour

1 tablespoon cayenne pepper

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon onion powder

1 egg

10 toothpicks

Place a strip of chicken breast flat on a cutting board. Lay a strip of bacon next to it. Trim the bacon slice until it’s equal in length or a little shorter than the breast strip. Save the trimmed bacon for something else (say, the chocolate-covered bacon recipe below). Place the bacon on top of the chicken strip. Grab one end and roll the meats together, pinwheel-style. Skewer the medallion with a toothpick to hold it together while cooking. Repeat until you’ve made 10 medallions.

Heat a frying pan at medium temperature with vegetable or peanut oil. If you have leftover bacon, you can fry it up now (for the chocolate). Simply use the same frying pan and a couple of tablespoons of the leftover bacon grease for frying the medallions.

In a small bowl, sift together the flour and three spices. Crack the egg into another small bowl and whisk gently. Coat the medallion in egg, then dip in the flour. Stir around and flip until the medallion is completely coated. Transfer each medallion immediately into the hot frying pan. Cook each side for 3 to 5 minutes, until each side is nice and brown. Stand each medallion on its edge for 2 minutes. Place medallions on a paper-towel-lined plate to drain some of the grease away. Serve hot; remove toothpicks before plating.

Bacon gravy

Leftover bacon grease in hot frying pan

½ cup flour

1 cup milk

Slowly sprinkle in the flour, stirring constantly. As it starts to absorb the grease and begins to look pasty. Slowly add the milk; again, stirring constantly. Play this by eye. If the gravy reaches the proper consistency before you’ve poured in the entire cup of milk, then stop pouring.

Spicy Chocolate-Covered Bacon

8 strips cooked bacon

4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 tablespoon cayenne pepper

¼ cup milk

Kosher salt, to sprinkle

Heat a metal bowl over a pot of boiling water (I suspended the bowl from my rice cooker above the pot). Pour in the chocolate chips, then sprinkle in the cayenne pepper. Stir constantly; pour in the milk a little at a time until the chocolate has reached a thick but pourable consistency. Remove from heat. Dip each strip of bacon into the chocolate and sprinkle kosher salt on to taste.